Unfortunately, It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love snow. Living out the winters in this city means it's either love it, hibernate or move. I live in Chicago,  home of pay-to-play politics, the Sears Tower (we'll never call it the Willis Tower - you do know that, right?) and some of the best shopping in the nation. And what else are we known for? Crime. Not just crime. Violent crime. Gun crime. The statistics are ridiculous and just keep coming. 49 shot one weekend. 2 killed. 62 shot the next weekend. 8 killed. The loss of life in our city rivals any in the nation and in many war ravaged countries as well.

But there is a reprieve from the extreme numbers and numbing pain. It's called "winter." It's a sad thing when the snow brings screams of delight from my children followed by "Mommy, the crime rate is about to go down!" (Yep, this is actually what happened in my house today.)

I love snow. I really do. I love snowmen, ice skating, sledding, hot chocolate with marshmellows and all things winter. (Well, almost.) But I am sad to say that one of my favorite things about winter in Chicago is watching the death toll dramatically decrease. We made it through one more summer. Some of us anyway. We're scarred, hurt and grieving but we're here.

Here's hoping next year is somehow different. Until then, bundle up. It's cold outside.

#prayforChicago

Am I Being Judgmental?

I recently was hurt to hear about the fall of a marriage that I esteemed greatly. It's no one that I know personally, though I felt like I did because of the intimate times of worship that we've shared. The moment I read about it, my heart sank in a way that surprised me. My first response was disbelief. Then deep disappointment. I just couldn't shake it for days. I felt so hurt but I couldn't really explain why. It just didn't seem logical.

I went before the Lord and asked Him flat out if I was being judgmental. I saw a bunch of online responses to the announcement and they all seemed to communicate such grace and forgiveness. I didn't feel that way. I tried to but my honest response was not "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I was physically pained by the thought that someone I esteemed so highly had fallen and lost something so precious. I wasn't angry. I wasn't dismissive of him. I wasn't even disgusted or grossed out (a response I normally wouldn't put past myself). I was disappointed. Just plain old, down right disappointed. So my question is, in my disappointment am I being judgmental? Which of course makes me wonder what exactly is "being judgmental" realistically speaking? Am I be being judgmental if I'm disappointed in my own sin? Or the sin of my husband or other close friend / family? Is that different? And if so, is it just because of the relationship or is there something else that's different?

So... what do you think? How do you know when someone is being judgmental? How do you know if you're being judgmental? What exactly does that word mean? Can we be disappointed in someone's behavior and not be judgmental? Or is any evaluation or opinion about anyone's wrong-doing off the table? I'm very interested in how this thing works.

What are your thoughts?

xoxo

Reflections

I recently said to a new friend that I should start a blog entitled "Girl, Let Me Tell You!" I don't know if that's catchy enough but it needs to express the idea that we as women need to share knowledge instead of breaking each other down. The stereotype that women are catty and can't get along needs to be debunked so we can stop that prophecy from coming to pass - especially in our children.

So off the top of my head here are a few things I'd like to pass along:
• Work hard. Don't just stay busy and THINK you work hard. Put in the time and energy and keep doing it.
• Work smart. When you first start working hard, you may not work so smart. That's ok. Just keep learning as you work hard and you'll find smarter ways to get things done.
• Start thinking - and acting - like the employer. When we always think like the employee we will always see things like an employee, always want things for the employee and, in turn, always be the employee. It's time to own some businesses and have multiple streams of income so that our legacy is established. And to do that we must first change our mindsets.
• Don't be afraid to be a woman. Our society has valued the tasks that men have historically performed so much that they have convinced women to pursue those things and called it feminism. Don't be fooled. Femininity is an art. Don't compromise it. It is both a calling and a beautiful privilege. And no one can do it like the unique woman that God has created you to be.
• Make your life count! God has marked out a path for you. Forge it! Accept the mission. Go on the adventure! Make it happen!! And every other motivational cliché that you can think of! Stamp - no, engrave this world with the mark of your life. And make it a good one!

I've got more - lots more - to say but I'll leave it at that for now. More specifics and details to come. Here's to growing older and wiser.

In Christ forever,

Nichole, CMBL

Today I am struck by Luke 1:74-75 for me and as a blessing over my children, Luke 1:76-79:

Nichole, know that God will perform
"the oath which He swore to our father Abraham: To grant us that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve Him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before Him all the days of our life."

 This I speak over my children:
"And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Highest; For you will go before the face of the Lord to prepare His ways. To give knowledge of salvation to His people By the remission of their sins, Through the tender mercy of our God, with which the Dayspring from on high has visited us; to give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."

I know that my children may not all carry the role or "position" of "Prophet" as the Bible speaks. Perhaps they will. But I pray that each of them is used in the gifts and callings that our Father has for them with power, authority and an anointing of God's presence that is undeniable and life-changing both for them and those within their sphere of influence.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

I am a Christian. I am a mother. I am a business woman. I am a lady.

I'm also a wife, a homeowner, a worship leader, an administrator, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a cousin... the list goes on. My life if full. I am blessed. And I am loved.

I'm also stressed, fearful and frustrated at times. And I realize the need to organize both my thoughts and my life.

I make no promises to anyone else about this blog. It's really just a private place for me to journal. I prefer to journal by hand but I think this may be a necessity in my busy life. I will likely only use this for my study purposes and reflections but who knows.  So, here goes...

It's the day after Selah... the Christian Musicians' Bootcamp. I have been undone. I realize more than ever that I need God. I need Him to take away all of the fears and doubts, all of the walls and prides that make me ineffective. I can not do this without Him. I mean, I know I have Him. But I can't do this without HIM. His manifest presence in my life. His taking the lead and ... more than that... I need to EXPERIENCE Him. Daily. To know without any doubt that I know Him. No. That HE KNOWS ME. That I am His. And that I am standing in a place where He can use me. That He works through me. The confidence to know that I am not doing this in my own flesh or with my own knowledge. God, not me.

I need Him. In every aspect. In every role. In every way. In every moment.

I need Him.

I need Him.