Am I Being Judgmental?

I recently was hurt to hear about the fall of a marriage that I esteemed greatly. It's no one that I know personally, though I felt like I did because of the intimate times of worship that we've shared. The moment I read about it, my heart sank in a way that surprised me. My first response was disbelief. Then deep disappointment. I just couldn't shake it for days. I felt so hurt but I couldn't really explain why. It just didn't seem logical.

I went before the Lord and asked Him flat out if I was being judgmental. I saw a bunch of online responses to the announcement and they all seemed to communicate such grace and forgiveness. I didn't feel that way. I tried to but my honest response was not "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I was physically pained by the thought that someone I esteemed so highly had fallen and lost something so precious. I wasn't angry. I wasn't dismissive of him. I wasn't even disgusted or grossed out (a response I normally wouldn't put past myself). I was disappointed. Just plain old, down right disappointed. So my question is, in my disappointment am I being judgmental? Which of course makes me wonder what exactly is "being judgmental" realistically speaking? Am I be being judgmental if I'm disappointed in my own sin? Or the sin of my husband or other close friend / family? Is that different? And if so, is it just because of the relationship or is there something else that's different?

So... what do you think? How do you know when someone is being judgmental? How do you know if you're being judgmental? What exactly does that word mean? Can we be disappointed in someone's behavior and not be judgmental? Or is any evaluation or opinion about anyone's wrong-doing off the table? I'm very interested in how this thing works.

What are your thoughts?

xoxo